!this is a repost on closing of three blogs!
Follow the next stories in the links down here.
It took some time to get all the blogging thinking back in order inside to start fully commitment into writing and posting regularly so you can continue to follow the my world, my work and the projects
I'm around on the following new alternative spaces:
My personal stuff is now called:
World With Jan
Independent visual journalism story telling, film and cinematography, media and crowd-funding co-development operates on:
Public Section Nine Production, codename PS9 and PS9 Wild, in just the short start took second place on Slovak Press Photo.
The Emphas.is project, Crowd-funding Visual Journalism with direct funding and production. Already producing stories and projects since Early 2011.
About Jan Husar, to keep in touch on about.me. Thanks for following the Personal blog.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
back to 1981
Discovery on the edge of sick temperature is one of the features my body can retain. It starts after 38.5 C degrees and continue to build it's way up. What is interesting in this scenario are the non-linear dreams which sometimes I barely control. Last one was last night and I somehow traveled back in time in sleep, I woke up somewhere in Slovakia in 1981. I met some people from the family and tried to express who I really am with almost no success, but the story of fall of Communism during autumn 1989 was something which attracted the attention. Showing the need to prepare for the outskirts of coming things. The cloths, way of talking about future, it was apparent that certainly there was something true in what was sad.
Dream actually had a different meaning of my sub consciousness, express the need of change in the present society, how it is, where are the believes. I'm feeling depressed lately because of few but still important things.
I was working for almost half a year on the Commission position paper on Common Fisheries Policy (CFP), because I felt it was needed to influence it, for the fish. Last week on the Fish Council the paper which holds enough scientific information where the fish stock is declining, that we treat more than half of the catch as waster because of really old non functional European regulation which places huge fines on fishing over quota. Most of the otherwise healthy fish stock is killed and in most cases trowed back to the Ocean, in the meaning of the fishermen wasn't looking for it or they already had the quota for certain species. This had a huge impact on my depression, where Politicians doesn't feel the need to intervene in such morbid situation where as by 2050 we can by literally out of fish.
Second thing in national legislation I was involved with another important position paper on use of software, and I can tell there was lot of pro-open source policy written there, I analyzed it with certain close colleagues, but at the end it wasn't accepted because it praise open source too much. But paying millions euros in licenses to Microsoft earlier this year was of course alright. This paper wasn't accept the same day I red the press releases about the Fish.
Now the elections in few days, I thought few weeks before, there is a lot I could do. And I'm certainly being depressed by the fact that it will go wrong and people will not care. It just feed on my energy and it sucks.
There is so much important stuff going on, and just sometimes it drives me mad to just know these things. How deep is the rabbit hole?
Dream actually had a different meaning of my sub consciousness, express the need of change in the present society, how it is, where are the believes. I'm feeling depressed lately because of few but still important things.
I was working for almost half a year on the Commission position paper on Common Fisheries Policy (CFP), because I felt it was needed to influence it, for the fish. Last week on the Fish Council the paper which holds enough scientific information where the fish stock is declining, that we treat more than half of the catch as waster because of really old non functional European regulation which places huge fines on fishing over quota. Most of the otherwise healthy fish stock is killed and in most cases trowed back to the Ocean, in the meaning of the fishermen wasn't looking for it or they already had the quota for certain species. This had a huge impact on my depression, where Politicians doesn't feel the need to intervene in such morbid situation where as by 2050 we can by literally out of fish.
Second thing in national legislation I was involved with another important position paper on use of software, and I can tell there was lot of pro-open source policy written there, I analyzed it with certain close colleagues, but at the end it wasn't accepted because it praise open source too much. But paying millions euros in licenses to Microsoft earlier this year was of course alright. This paper wasn't accept the same day I red the press releases about the Fish.
Now the elections in few days, I thought few weeks before, there is a lot I could do. And I'm certainly being depressed by the fact that it will go wrong and people will not care. It just feed on my energy and it sucks.
There is so much important stuff going on, and just sometimes it drives me mad to just know these things. How deep is the rabbit hole?
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
few fronts, many battles
People tend to think that activism is easy. It ain't, cost lot of energy, money, self-respect and confidence. I always believed in two rules of activism.
1. don't spam
if you haven't contributed to something which somebody did,
don't you dare troll about how it is, don't judge if it was wrong.
You don't have the right
2. creativity
If you don't like something, propose something better, don't argue
how wrong it can be, just propose something better
I was working under these rules for some years now, and it worked for me.
I always believed in what I was doing, and in most of the cases I did
what I was able to. Spend few months alone in Brussels for free, not a problem.
Problem appeared when people tried to control what I'm doing, without almost
any noticeable contribution to it. They said to me, yeah, it was great but still
we cannot work like this. Work like what? To not do almost anything and judge me?
And then, I was still open, transparent with my plans, trying to negotiate what
they will like and what I pursue. What i got in the end? They now propose to me
stuff I told them. My plans with some non profits, with their future.
Now it's out there, and people try to catch while they can, and it seems
without me. I understand that different people have different opinions, but stealing ideas? Isn't that what we were standing for in the beginning? To share?
I thought that was the point, at least for me. It always will. I believe the knowledge I have I must share, that is the purpose of information, to be free.
It is the responsibility to change things to be better, if I know it I must do it. It's driving me further, always
Push it as far as you can.
1. don't spam
if you haven't contributed to something which somebody did,
don't you dare troll about how it is, don't judge if it was wrong.
You don't have the right
2. creativity
If you don't like something, propose something better, don't argue
how wrong it can be, just propose something better
I was working under these rules for some years now, and it worked for me.
I always believed in what I was doing, and in most of the cases I did
what I was able to. Spend few months alone in Brussels for free, not a problem.
Problem appeared when people tried to control what I'm doing, without almost
any noticeable contribution to it. They said to me, yeah, it was great but still
we cannot work like this. Work like what? To not do almost anything and judge me?
And then, I was still open, transparent with my plans, trying to negotiate what
they will like and what I pursue. What i got in the end? They now propose to me
stuff I told them. My plans with some non profits, with their future.
Now it's out there, and people try to catch while they can, and it seems
without me. I understand that different people have different opinions, but stealing ideas? Isn't that what we were standing for in the beginning? To share?
I thought that was the point, at least for me. It always will. I believe the knowledge I have I must share, that is the purpose of information, to be free.
It is the responsibility to change things to be better, if I know it I must do it. It's driving me further, always
Push it as far as you can.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Struggle for freedom
Last days I was thinking about the question which people tend to ask me all the time over the years. Why? Why you are doing it? To be able to decode the answer you need to know how I came to that point, where it turn around and I couldn't think about anything else.
I'm young, and was really young when came to the technology age, starting to use computers. Did not know what was the internet, or Microsoft, or Linux, or anything else. I was using 8bit computers with BASIC as computer language, you were literaly typing everything you wanted computer to do. So it became natural that by the age of 9 I was coding stuff that I need for the use of the computer. It was really hard in eastern Europe to get any software except for computer games. At certain point there I found other people, class mates, geeks, having computers and we started to share and collaborate with the code and games. It sounds a way professional, it wasn't, we were mostly intersted in playing games and playing with the computer. My parents were mad that I spent a lot of time in front of it, and pushing already the limit when you are awake and siting behind computer. It turn down in fifth grade with a PC and people started calling me a computer geek, even the phrasing didn't exist around here, the meaning did.
I always had friends who were older than me, with PC, I explored DOS and Norton Commander, even saw Windows 3.11. But it wasn't much, I didn't see what it is good for and I didn't needed it at all. In 6th grade one older friend showed me some different piece of software, which actually looked more like DOS than windows 3.11, what I really started to like. It was Linux, but still I didn't understand what it is and what it means. Without the possibility of internet you aren't really able to learn computer stuff so easily when you suppose to be learning in basic school and just spent the freetime after school to have fun. My fun was more in the cyberspace than I had in the real world, but it wasn't only the computer games which turned me over. It was the possibilities to control, create and share, to be able and know something. Linux had this huge advantage over any other operating system you might be using, or I was using. The advatange was the community that exists somewhere out there, even if I have no idea that it is. This community was willing and really wanted you to be able to know and understand their software. It was the electronic books, manuals and these kinds. My world started to turn over, I was using dos and maybe windows later on for playing games, but I was using Linux to understand how computers work and of course getting skilled in the unix console.
At the same time I started to explore the Linux world, I somehow crossed over the internet which again changed my life completly as computers did 5 years ago. First things were Netscape, IRC, yahoo, altavista and linux again. I became literally addicted to computers and the internet, I spend a lot of time trying to get myself online, at my friends work place, because there were no internet cafes at that time and I had no money at all. These few years started to change me, where the pursuit for information, pursuit for connection was absolutely top first and second after anything I was desiring. Out of the suden there were two intenet cafes and I found myself escaping school to be online. I got sucked completely.
Beginning of social networks, online friends, MMORPGs was there, and I took it, every one sip there were. Starting to play MUDs which I enjoy even now. The third thing that computers did to me and did indeed change me was turning into a blackhat. It started to simple, when I somehow puted Linux distrubution into a internet cafe computer, being the only one able to run it and hide it from others, it stayed there for around 1 and half year on the same computer I had reserved for me. I started to realize that my knowledge of Linux was pretty good for a guy still visiting basic school. That was the time when I hacked first time into computer via UUCP protocal (Unix to Unix CoPy). It was easy, but it wasn't easy to have that knowledge and the skill. Hacking at the beginning turned out to be first to know, then to be able to hide yourself, and do it more and more. I didn't know everything, for sure I was lame in lot of stuff, but still there was something I was able to do.
During the next period which changed me was connected to Berkeley, and FreeBSD. I was fifteen when I actually started to realize copyright and licencing. This run over made me to create more with computers as a system engineer than to control them by force, and I was able to score some money for it. Win Win situation and I knew, I will be hacking until I die.
It was still long to realizing and accepting the truth of how important is to defend the networks, technologies, standards, patents and god only knows what else is coming.
I'm young, and was really young when came to the technology age, starting to use computers. Did not know what was the internet, or Microsoft, or Linux, or anything else. I was using 8bit computers with BASIC as computer language, you were literaly typing everything you wanted computer to do. So it became natural that by the age of 9 I was coding stuff that I need for the use of the computer. It was really hard in eastern Europe to get any software except for computer games. At certain point there I found other people, class mates, geeks, having computers and we started to share and collaborate with the code and games. It sounds a way professional, it wasn't, we were mostly intersted in playing games and playing with the computer. My parents were mad that I spent a lot of time in front of it, and pushing already the limit when you are awake and siting behind computer. It turn down in fifth grade with a PC and people started calling me a computer geek, even the phrasing didn't exist around here, the meaning did.
I always had friends who were older than me, with PC, I explored DOS and Norton Commander, even saw Windows 3.11. But it wasn't much, I didn't see what it is good for and I didn't needed it at all. In 6th grade one older friend showed me some different piece of software, which actually looked more like DOS than windows 3.11, what I really started to like. It was Linux, but still I didn't understand what it is and what it means. Without the possibility of internet you aren't really able to learn computer stuff so easily when you suppose to be learning in basic school and just spent the freetime after school to have fun. My fun was more in the cyberspace than I had in the real world, but it wasn't only the computer games which turned me over. It was the possibilities to control, create and share, to be able and know something. Linux had this huge advantage over any other operating system you might be using, or I was using. The advatange was the community that exists somewhere out there, even if I have no idea that it is. This community was willing and really wanted you to be able to know and understand their software. It was the electronic books, manuals and these kinds. My world started to turn over, I was using dos and maybe windows later on for playing games, but I was using Linux to understand how computers work and of course getting skilled in the unix console.
At the same time I started to explore the Linux world, I somehow crossed over the internet which again changed my life completly as computers did 5 years ago. First things were Netscape, IRC, yahoo, altavista and linux again. I became literally addicted to computers and the internet, I spend a lot of time trying to get myself online, at my friends work place, because there were no internet cafes at that time and I had no money at all. These few years started to change me, where the pursuit for information, pursuit for connection was absolutely top first and second after anything I was desiring. Out of the suden there were two intenet cafes and I found myself escaping school to be online. I got sucked completely.
Beginning of social networks, online friends, MMORPGs was there, and I took it, every one sip there were. Starting to play MUDs which I enjoy even now. The third thing that computers did to me and did indeed change me was turning into a blackhat. It started to simple, when I somehow puted Linux distrubution into a internet cafe computer, being the only one able to run it and hide it from others, it stayed there for around 1 and half year on the same computer I had reserved for me. I started to realize that my knowledge of Linux was pretty good for a guy still visiting basic school. That was the time when I hacked first time into computer via UUCP protocal (Unix to Unix CoPy). It was easy, but it wasn't easy to have that knowledge and the skill. Hacking at the beginning turned out to be first to know, then to be able to hide yourself, and do it more and more. I didn't know everything, for sure I was lame in lot of stuff, but still there was something I was able to do.
During the next period which changed me was connected to Berkeley, and FreeBSD. I was fifteen when I actually started to realize copyright and licencing. This run over made me to create more with computers as a system engineer than to control them by force, and I was able to score some money for it. Win Win situation and I knew, I will be hacking until I die.
It was still long to realizing and accepting the truth of how important is to defend the networks, technologies, standards, patents and god only knows what else is coming.
Monday, January 5, 2009
moving mirrors, leaving shades behind
Sometimes your life is heading so fast that you have no idea where exactly is going. This was a bit my case last year, maybe a lot more than I realize or want to think of. Now it's gone, lightly breeze which you remember from the beginning of last year autumn.
The struggle which we bear and fight is actually easier when you find allies and friends on your side, believing in the right things, helping you and each other to make it a better place. It's easier to donate time and actions for some nasty deep impact. Now I know that my purpose isn't really only to change something, even if I try so hard, and I manage over the years to make some impact. Now I know that the not less important purpose is to rock the boat. To make people think what is happening around, to show them the reality, to show them how tax payers money are getting spent to enslave people into proprietary technology. Life of course isn't about the technology, but in western world it is a way too much to ignore the facts of being us blinded and enslaved.
For me the fight was almost always about technology, for information and access when I was a black hat teenager, believing into something more than what I was said to believe. These foundations was in a way correct and I stepped into the vortex of principles.
The present seems a way different, policy and negotiations, traveling. Over the past month I decided to move my base of operations out of Bratislava. Seems to be far, but in half a year or less I'm relocating myself to Brussels. I still need to come back to Bratislava each month, because of the contracts, meetings, committees, non profits, small companies, whatever else is there. Thing is, I can work on my stuff in Brussels for three weeks each month without flying all over the place. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.
I just after long time realized how to organize myself, not better, not properly, just organize. This is I believe how it should go.
The struggle which we bear and fight is actually easier when you find allies and friends on your side, believing in the right things, helping you and each other to make it a better place. It's easier to donate time and actions for some nasty deep impact. Now I know that my purpose isn't really only to change something, even if I try so hard, and I manage over the years to make some impact. Now I know that the not less important purpose is to rock the boat. To make people think what is happening around, to show them the reality, to show them how tax payers money are getting spent to enslave people into proprietary technology. Life of course isn't about the technology, but in western world it is a way too much to ignore the facts of being us blinded and enslaved.
For me the fight was almost always about technology, for information and access when I was a black hat teenager, believing into something more than what I was said to believe. These foundations was in a way correct and I stepped into the vortex of principles.
The present seems a way different, policy and negotiations, traveling. Over the past month I decided to move my base of operations out of Bratislava. Seems to be far, but in half a year or less I'm relocating myself to Brussels. I still need to come back to Bratislava each month, because of the contracts, meetings, committees, non profits, small companies, whatever else is there. Thing is, I can work on my stuff in Brussels for three weeks each month without flying all over the place. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.
I just after long time realized how to organize myself, not better, not properly, just organize. This is I believe how it should go.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Wall and Echo
First moment of seeing a computer is not something you remember, for me it could be 20 years ago, and I don't. What I do remember is, the geekness appeared, having something hi-tech and able to control it. Not only in Eastern Europe, but at that time, anywhere was pretty much hard core about having a computer. You were a kid, and it was expensive or you find yourself visiting the friend more often who had one. When I look at it now, it was a lot of luck. First the 8 bit's, funny was, I was learning to write in school with pen and at home on keyboard at the same time. This will definetly influence my future. After 20 years, noone is able to read my handwrittings except signature but it's pretty clear I do write better on the laptop. I find myself a bit disabled, in the hand writting point of view. Communist had this great idea to teach left handed people write right hand, or maybe it wasn't the communism but the stupid teacher and school and social system. The result, I was writting so bad, that I was getting slaps with a ruler in front of the class. Well, that fucked up was my first grade.
The situation around us for the whole time is pretty much bad, no matter how many times or ways you look, it just stays that way. I mean, the life? Yours or mine.
Is it something you pretend and create to live worth anything, is it? I just doubt the question, it can matter only to you, and probably noone else. When you have something, that matters to someone else, don't let it go, you may not find it again. Sometimes we think that what we found worth a lot, or we just pretend it that way. No matter if you do pretend or really feel, you can loose it easily. I lost so many times and I told myself this will be the last one, but it keeps coming back. Something terrible did happen, do I found myself on the edge of the cliff ready to just let it go. No, I don't, and never will. I rather spend the life standing and facing the cold wind from north on a not so really welcoming surroundings a top of hill above the ocean.
I remember the first moment when I met her like it was yesterday, , even when it happend years ago. It's because of the moments that made you feel special, that things out of the sudden started to mean. I almost always felt the meaning of what I am, of what is she.
I met her at not really welcoming phase of my existence, it was for few months age of wonders, age of stuff that was burried for years appeared again in reality. It wasn't pleasant for anyone around, especially me and the closest one. Almost three months I was falling somewhere inside where I didn't even know I started heading. It's because you tend to loose the big picture, which for me do explains a lot, always. After some months, you just realize, oh my god did I really think or do this? big picture appears, and all the things you was blind to are there, you see them clearly. It's something so different you didn't seen coming, but it was there. Now it starts to disappear, but the collateral damage is for some unbearable, and they tend to loose to hope.
I am sorry for it and ashamed of myself,
things are completely different. I hope, one day you can see it
The situation around us for the whole time is pretty much bad, no matter how many times or ways you look, it just stays that way. I mean, the life? Yours or mine.
Is it something you pretend and create to live worth anything, is it? I just doubt the question, it can matter only to you, and probably noone else. When you have something, that matters to someone else, don't let it go, you may not find it again. Sometimes we think that what we found worth a lot, or we just pretend it that way. No matter if you do pretend or really feel, you can loose it easily. I lost so many times and I told myself this will be the last one, but it keeps coming back. Something terrible did happen, do I found myself on the edge of the cliff ready to just let it go. No, I don't, and never will. I rather spend the life standing and facing the cold wind from north on a not so really welcoming surroundings a top of hill above the ocean.
I remember the first moment when I met her like it was yesterday, , even when it happend years ago. It's because of the moments that made you feel special, that things out of the sudden started to mean. I almost always felt the meaning of what I am, of what is she.
I met her at not really welcoming phase of my existence, it was for few months age of wonders, age of stuff that was burried for years appeared again in reality. It wasn't pleasant for anyone around, especially me and the closest one. Almost three months I was falling somewhere inside where I didn't even know I started heading. It's because you tend to loose the big picture, which for me do explains a lot, always. After some months, you just realize, oh my god did I really think or do this? big picture appears, and all the things you was blind to are there, you see them clearly. It's something so different you didn't seen coming, but it was there. Now it starts to disappear, but the collateral damage is for some unbearable, and they tend to loose to hope.
I am sorry for it and ashamed of myself,
things are completely different. I hope, one day you can see it
Monday, November 17, 2008
Fresh boot to writing
I had this long pause in writing, longest since I actively started publishing 4 years ago. Why is that I ask, no clue, some part is played by the 2008 year of major changes and twist ups in my life. After I look at it, I sincerely was in a way depleted, not without thoughts to write about, but just so chaotically sucked into real life problems and challenges.
Few major things happened to me in recent months or days, not going to any detail but I find myself changed in a ways, and see new ways how to be changed even more which I like. It makes me happy in a way, that I see some parts which aren't really a good ones, and now some of them are gone. Others which still exists, are in the aim now, some are discovered and being taking care of.
The writing, I was thinking about writing the whole time which I didn't wrote a line, I mean a line of sense from me, not some news letter or a press release which sounds more like a marketing, pr and work kind of stuff. Sense was in me, but not published. Two weeks ago, or something my friend asked me if I want to write a article about openness in source and communities for a printed weekly cultural magazine. Why not I said, it's been a while since I published some piece. After some agreements what they expect and when, I had like a week to finish it. Some shit happened, I didn't slept for a few days, personal and work load was amberable. There I was, 1 hour before the deadline, didn't had a god damn thing written, that's a start. Half of the text was finished one hour after deadline. Not so light fatigue took it's place and the thought about writting more tomorrow appeared. Few hours in dream land and now you write, in your bad morning moods, no thoughts, empty shell, finish the story. Somehow the article was made 30 minutes before the deadline for printing, so it will be published. You woudln't expect much of such extrem conditions writting, it seemed like a no big deal article. But the other authors from the weekly magazine made me believe I was wrong. The article was mentioned as first article in the editorial, and that feels a way impressive for me. I kinda like the article now.
Few major things happened to me in recent months or days, not going to any detail but I find myself changed in a ways, and see new ways how to be changed even more which I like. It makes me happy in a way, that I see some parts which aren't really a good ones, and now some of them are gone. Others which still exists, are in the aim now, some are discovered and being taking care of.
The writing, I was thinking about writing the whole time which I didn't wrote a line, I mean a line of sense from me, not some news letter or a press release which sounds more like a marketing, pr and work kind of stuff. Sense was in me, but not published. Two weeks ago, or something my friend asked me if I want to write a article about openness in source and communities for a printed weekly cultural magazine. Why not I said, it's been a while since I published some piece. After some agreements what they expect and when, I had like a week to finish it. Some shit happened, I didn't slept for a few days, personal and work load was amberable. There I was, 1 hour before the deadline, didn't had a god damn thing written, that's a start. Half of the text was finished one hour after deadline. Not so light fatigue took it's place and the thought about writting more tomorrow appeared. Few hours in dream land and now you write, in your bad morning moods, no thoughts, empty shell, finish the story. Somehow the article was made 30 minutes before the deadline for printing, so it will be published. You woudln't expect much of such extrem conditions writting, it seemed like a no big deal article. But the other authors from the weekly magazine made me believe I was wrong. The article was mentioned as first article in the editorial, and that feels a way impressive for me. I kinda like the article now.
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