back to 1981

Discovery on the edge of sick temperature is one of the features my body can retain. It starts after 38.5 C degrees and continue to build it's way up. What is interesting in this scenario are the non-linear dreams which sometimes I barely control. Last one was last night and I somehow traveled back in time in sleep, I woke up somewhere in Slovakia in 1981. I met some people from the family and tried to express who I really am with almost no success, but the story of fall of Communism during autumn 1989 was something which attracted the attention. Showing the need to prepare for the outskirts of coming things. The cloths, way of talking about future, it was apparent that certainly there was something true in what was sad.

Dream actually had a different meaning of my sub consciousness, express the need of change in the present society, how it is, where are the believes. I'm feeling depressed lately because of few but still important things.

I was working for almost half a year on the Commission position paper on Common Fisheries Policy (CFP), because I felt it was needed to influence it, for the fish. Last week on the Fish Council the paper which holds enough scientific information where the fish stock is declining, that we treat more than half of the catch as waster because of really old non functional European regulation which places huge fines on fishing over quota. Most of the otherwise healthy fish stock is killed and in most cases trowed back to the Ocean, in the meaning of the fishermen wasn't looking for it or they already had the quota for certain species. This had a huge impact on my depression, where Politicians doesn't feel the need to intervene in such morbid situation where as by 2050 we can by literally out of fish.

Second thing in national legislation I was involved with another important position paper on use of software, and I can tell there was lot of pro-open source policy written there, I analyzed it with certain close colleagues, but at the end it wasn't accepted because it praise open source too much. But paying millions euros in licenses to Microsoft earlier this year was of course alright. This paper wasn't accept the same day I red the press releases about the Fish.

Now the elections in few days, I thought few weeks before, there is a lot I could do. And I'm certainly being depressed by the fact that it will go wrong and people will not care. It just feed on my energy and it sucks.

There is so much important stuff going on, and just sometimes it drives me mad to just know these things. How deep is the rabbit hole?